


Lazarus, 3000BC

by ammcj062



Series: Prompt Fills [16]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Episode: s04e01 Lazarus Rising, Gen, Mummies, Mummy Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 03:58:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15900438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ammcj062/pseuds/ammcj062
Summary: Someone asked for Mummy!Dean crack. I obliged.





	Lazarus, 3000BC

“Who are you?” Dean asks.

“I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”

“Do you think you could fix –” Dean flaps his arms around to illustrate his point, “—all this?”

Castiel, angel of the lord, cocks his head to the side in confusion. “You just gestured to all of you.”

 

* * *

 

Sam does not give his brother a hunter’s funeral because Dean is going to need the body when he comes back. Instead he buys a pine box with all of the cash he has left and shoplifts a bolt of fabric from the Joanns across the road. Carefully, limb by limb, Sam wraps his brother in clean linen. He blesses the fabrics and tucks charms against evil between layers of cloth until his brother looks almost whole and peaceful, arms tucked across his chest and wounds hidden from Sam’s eyes.

Sam lays him down in his coffin carefully, struggles to lower the box on his own, and weeps the entire time he buries his brother.

 

* * *

 

Four months later Dean wakes up hugging himself. He wriggles experimentally and mutters to the darkness, “What the hell?”

 

* * *

 

It’s hard to walk with all the fabric throwing off his balance and restricting his limbs from their full range of motion. He falls down on his ass too many times walking along that deserted country road, and discovers that while walking is hard standing back up is even harder.

Growling, he tries to wrap the ragged dirt-stained linen closer before stretching his arms out to counterbalance. It’s not like anyone can see him anyway.

 

* * *

 

Burdened with heavenly power Castiel carries Dean Winchester’s soul out of hell and back to his body. The land quivers under the power of the miracle and Castiel shakes under the exhaustion of maintaining it. He has one last task before he can rest, however. Castiel reaches into Dean Winchester’s mind and projects an image of his body, listening carefully for all the ways his mind tries to instinctively reconstruct it into something living.

Summoning the dregs of his angelic might, Castiel rights Dean Winchester’s body to the mental pictures thus projected. He pushes breath into his reconstructed body and dissipates from the material plane with the angelic equivalent of collapsing knees.

Unfortunately for Castiel, it’s very hard to determine whether a mind’s image came from real life or the silver screen.

 

* * *

 

“Dude,” Sam slaps at Dean’s wrist. “Stop picking at it!”

Dean scowls and tries to refrain from picking at his bandages – which basically means not touching himself anywhere. He doesn’t understand how an angel can fuck up this badly. He can’t even tell where the bandages begin and where he ends – it’s just a continuum from flesh to fleshy fabric to fabric. He took a shower an hour ago and is still wet, and there’s nowhere else to sit except on the bed he’s supposed to sleep in tonight except now the mattress is damp too.

 

* * *

 

“You know, I’m starting to think Cas is avoiding us because he doesn’t have any idea how to fix this.”

“That’s a pharaoh assessment,” Sam mutters to himself, half-distracted by a newspaper.

Dean shakes out and arm and whips it forward so a dangling piece of linen smacks Sam squarely in the face.

“Augh – Gross, Dean!”

“I heard that!”

“Guess I’ll have to keep my puns under better wraps!”

Unfortunately, this time Sam is able to dodge.


End file.
